Setting the Table for Success
Written by Katie Bertrand, RECE
One of the biggest parts of our day as a home child care provider is mealtime. This takes up not only a large amount of physical time in a day, but as every home child care provider knows, it also takes up a large amount of mental space – always thinking about the next mealtime or snack.
Mealtime can also be one of the biggest challenges a home child care provider faces. Feeding little ones can be hard enough, but even more so as children are in their peak developmental stage for attempting to gain some control in their lives.
Rather than thinking of mealtime strictly as a routine you need to check off on your daily to-do list, try thinking of it as another learning opportunity in your day. We tend to get so caught up in what each child is consuming at that specific mealtime and if it’s healthy, the right quantity of each food group, balanced, etc. So, to eliminate some of the stress, rather than being consumed by the child’s intake and acceptance of new foods day to day, try and take a weeklong snapshot of their overall eating habits. This will help to remove some of the mental load that comes with toddler mealtimes. Children’s appetites and moods will change from day to day, so what they eat in a week, instead of one day, is a better indication of how they are doing. Remember, when offering little ones new foods, it can take up to 10 times for them to accept and get used to a new food, so don’t be discouraged if they don’t devour your new chickpea dish right away.
There is a lot of advice out there, and many strategies suggesting what to do and what not to do with picky eaters…I may have read them all! “You are not a short order cook!”, “Don’t give them a choice, you get what you get!”, “Enforce the rules: no TV if you don’t eat this broccoli”, “Don’t let them snack between meals”, etc. Maybe some of these sound familiar to you too?
Well, after 13 years of feeding numerous little ones of various ages and stages, I can tell you, that none of those options work in the long run. My number one hands-down advice to anyone struggling with picky eaters and mealtime stress is to take a step back and evaluate the environment you are creating around mealtime. Children make emotional connections to certain routines. If mealtime is rushed, chaotic, stressful, or all of the above, their eating habits may be affected, leading to a struggle.
One way to help you shift the narrative and transition to a more positive mealtime experience is to keep in mind the “division of responsibility” when it comes to mealtime:
- The parent/caregiver is responsible for what foods to serve, and when and where to eat.
- The child is responsible for how much and whether or not they eat.
Keeping this in mind relieves so much stress and pressure, from everyone.
What emotional connection are you attaching to mealtime? Mealtime should be calm and relaxed – it’s a great opportunity to engage in conversation and work on language skills. I used this time of day to chat with the children about what they did last night when they got home, what they had for dinner, or what they enjoyed doing at the park that morning. This is one of my favorite daycare memories. Keeping them entertained with back-and-forth conversation removes the pressure and focus off of what they are eating. Observing the other children and eating while they engage in conversation helps toddlers to relax and enjoy mealtime. Sometimes something as simple as changing the name of the food you are eating to a silly name can help too. “Today we are having crocodile egg sandwiches!” – there’s nothing a toddler loves more than to see an adult being silly.
Along with this, make sure you are creating a positive environment, if the children associate mealtime with a calm and positive emotion, they will be more likely to want to try the new foods on their plates. Your reaction to the food you serve can play a large role in how it’s received. Model the excitement and joy of enjoying fresh food bought at the farmers market, trying something new, or sharing one of your favorite dishes.
A regular tactic I used, was including children in the lunch choice. You have likely already planned what you’re having for lunch, but they don’t need to know that. Let them think they are making part of the choice. On our walks in the morning, we would talk about what we should have for lunch, and I would give them some choices from what I had already planned out. Once they had made the pick, I’d talk it up. For example, on our walk home from the park I’d ask “Who’s excited to have yummy spaghetti for lunch?”.
Another strategy to making mealtime a positive experience (and you may not want to hear this!) is to “embrace the mess”. For children, eating is a sensory experience: smelling the food, touching the food, tasting the food, etc. So, if most of the yogurt ends up on their face and in their hair, that’s ok. Rather than get frustrated, spin the conversation to a positive. “Wow, you must have enjoyed that yogurt”. Getting messy is normal, and in most cases, as they grow and develop the mess will decrease. Until then, take a deep breath and adjust your expectations.
Finally, remember mealtime is fun! Arrange their fruit in happy faces, use cookie cutters to cut the sandwich into dinosaur shapes, and when all else fails with those picky eaters, offer them DIP!! No toddler will ever turn down “DIP” 🙂
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Looking for great resources? Check out the following links:
Division of Responsibility: www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/ELLYN-SATTER’S-DIVISION-OF-RESPONSIBILITY-IN-FEEDING.pdf
Healthy Eating: https://www.ottawapublichealth.ca/en/professionals-and-partners/healthy-eating.aspx
Children’s Nutrition – Picky Eating: https://www.unlockfood.ca/en/Articles/Childrens-Nutrition/Picky-Eating.aspx